Pilgrimage to Neverland
Since the death of Michael Jackson more than a month ago, I’ve become more and more obsessed/fascinated/enthralled with the life, the music and the world which Michael Jackson created. If you’ve read any of my blogs then the impact that MJ’s death had on my life should be very clear. I began my journey a week after he passed by visiting the home in which he grew up in on Hayvenhurst, I visited his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, then I tried to breakdown that dark day in June by going to the UCLA Medical Center. From there, I went to the house which Michael spent his final moments and finals years living in. Through all of these places, I remained unconnected to them. I felt nothing but other people’s grief. It was hard for me to picture Michael Jackson in Encino, it was hard for me to picture him living right off of the Sunset Strip and it is was strange to know that he was at UCLA. For me, the MJ connection was always missing, but I knew that there was still one more place I had to visit and that was Neverland Ranch.
My brother, my mom and my dad got into the car and before we went to see Liza Minnelli at Chumash, we decided to make a detour and go visit Neverland. The drive there is long but not too long, the views along the way range from breathtaking to yawn inducing and the final 20 mile stretch to Neverland is completely deserted and depressing. Throughout the car ride there, I still felt how I felt like I did at all the other locations. I was looking for something but unsure of what that SOMETHING was. The final 6 mile stretch to get to the ranch is filled with cows but depleted of people. Media reports initially stated how the road to Neverland is very narrow and winding but that’s not too true, it’s more spacious and straighter than Laurel Canyon. Finally, after a 2 hour+ car ride we had arrived. As we pulled up and saw that the gates to Neverland were wide open, I told my dad to stop the car and I jumped out as it was still moving. As I set foot on the gr0und, immediately I was overtaken with emotion. The feeling of sadness overtook my body. This is what was missing all along.
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Walking up to the open gates with a greeting stating “Once upon a time” can only be described as eerie. There’s so much that can be taken from that opening line. Usually it is the beginning of a fairytale but the life and death of Michael Jackson is far from being a fairytale. It is more of a tragedy! However, the hopefulness in that opening is what I’d like to think Michael Jackson will be remembered for. That’s what Neverland was all about, inviting disadvantaged and handicapped children from all over the world to come to a place where for a day they could live in a fairytale. I don’t think Michael actually saw his life being a fairytale but the joy in knowing that he had the power to provide a fun filled day which many kids would remember for the rest of their lives, well that was fulfillment enough for MJ. I believe that he lived vicariously through each and every kid he saw visit his home away from home.
The open gates allowed a much more breathtaking look inside of Neverland.
The mountains and trees which made up the landscape of Neverland were beyond beautiful. I found myself staring into the distance, admiring the views and quickly I found myself at peace. I was not filled with sadness like I had been before. I finally understood what MJ had seen in Neverland this entire time, what had drawn him there, why it had made him the happiest. It is just a truly peaceful place. I finally had found what I had been looking for this whole time– MJ’s spirit. No matter where you look, you are met by it at Neverland. You can feel his presence there! Out of all the locations, this is where MJ’s soul will live on and on.
There’s been the question of where Michael should be buried. There is no doubt in my mind that if MJ had any say in any of this then he would want to be buried at Neverland. It’s impossible to imagine him being in an ordinary cemetery surrounded by thousands of others. In an interview Michael did with 60 Minutes, he stated that he would “never return to Neverland again because it wasn’t a home anymore, it was a house!” There was a lot of truth in that statement! The Santa Barbara police department raided Neverland with the darkest of accusations, they had tainted every room with their negative intentions and ultimately they left Neverland as well as Michael in a broken place. I can’t even imagine the pain that must have caused Michael! To build a place from scratch, fill it with every single thing you wish you had when you were a child, make sure that every child that went there was able to experience magic and happiness in its purest form. To do all of that and then suddenly be victimized and torn apart from head to toe with allegations that this place of happiness and peace was meant to lure children to this sexual deviant. There’s nothing more terrible than that. I feel as though we are quick to point a negative finger when someone has good intentions. When someone wants to do some form of good then we are led to believe that there is some catch involved in it. Why is that? Why can’t we just believe that there are some people that like to do good? There are some people that truly want to make the world a better place.
“No good deed goes unpunished
No act of charity goes unresented
No good deed goes unpunished”
“One question haunts and hurts
Too much, too much to mention:
Was I really seeking good
Or just seeking attention?
Is that all good deeds are
When looked at with an ice-cold eye?
If that’s all good deeds are
Maybe that’s the reason why
No good deed goes unpunished
All helpful urges should be circumvented
No good deed goes unpunished”
I think that Neverland SHOULD be transformed into a Graceland attraction. I think that doing so would bring peace to many of the millions of people that Michael Jackson touched throughout his life. It can give them closure! I’d love to be able to climb the tree next to the lake where Michael found so much of his information, hike up to the top of Mount Katherine and walk through the inside of his house. It’s something that will probably never happen but a boy can dream, can’t he? I keep hearing about all the neighbors that don’t want Neverland to turn into a tourist attraction but I can’t help but think that when I visited there weren’t many in sight. I mean there’s several ranches by Neverland, meaning these neighbors we keep hearing about our tucked away in their huge ranches and wouldn’t even see the difference. If they’re so scared about the traffic, build another road just for locals. I just don’t think it’s right to deny millions of people because of a little backed up traffic. I think they should bring back the rides, reconstruct all his rooms and fill them with everything Michael loved AND finally bury Michael in Neverland. They should charge $40. Give $20 to Michael’s estate/kids, $15 to charity and $5 to pay all the employees/keep the park functioning. That’s just what I think.
Me, my mom and dad in front of Neverland.
I recommend EVERYONE and ANYONE that is looking for some type of closure and understanding of Michael’s passing to visit Neverland Ranch. It is a very peaceful and serene place and I truly believe that you can feel his spirit when you are there. It’s emotional and heartbreaking but I think it is necessary. I’m happy that I had the chance to go!
-N