The Comedy Central Roast of Joan Rivers
On Sunday, I was fortunate enough to be on the red carpet for the Comedy Central Roast of Joan Rivers. I was there representing Daily Bruin Television as well as others on the sidelines of the white carpet in the blistering hot heat. It was literally a roast out there with temperatures reaching 90+ degrees. I’m sure it didn’t help that I was wearing a long sleeve button up shirt with a thick red jacket….but it looked good for the camera. I was very excited for this red carpet because I’m a huge fan of all the Comedy Central roasts, I think I’ve seen each one 10 times because it’s all they play at 2 am. Usually, I could care less about who they roast but I’ve always been a big fan of Joan Rivers. Last year, I had the pleasure of interviewing her one on one at the Geffen Playhouse where she later invited my mom and I backstage at her show.
The red carpet was supposed to begin at 5:30 but it wasn’t until 6 that anyone actually began coming down the carpet. Sometimes I feel that everything we ever hear about premieres and red carpet events is a HUGE lie. They’re not nearly as glamorous and exciting as they are made out to be on TV. There’s A LOT of waiting….and waiting….and waiting….and waiting. Then 20 minutes of stressful excitement where you have to fight to get a word in with the big stars because there are so many media outlets fighting to get an interview with the same person. The dog eat dog part is not until later on in the event, that’s why it’s always refreshing to warm up with random comedians/actors.
First up was up and coming comedian and one of the roasters of the night, Whitney Cummings. I think halfway through the interview with Whitney, I realized that even though I was there for the roast of Joan Rivers, just by being on the carpet I had exposed myself to being the subject of many of the jokes as well. I guess all the comedians wanted to sharpen their edges just as I was trying to do with them. Whitney said my outfit looked “like a mix between an usher and Michael Jackson.” I took it as a very high parking lot. I responded with, “No bro, I’m the one that parked your car on your way in, great memory you have!”
Next up was Gilbert Gottfried. First words out of his mouth. “You look like an usher!” The most annoying thing about it all was the fact that there was a random platform right in front of me where about 12 drunken 50 yr. olds were standing so they could see the stars up close. Any joke that I had or someone said to me was greeted by a huge reaction from them. Quickly, I decided to pretend that they were my studio audience so that way I wouldn’t be intimidated by all the huge amounts of attention and judgmental eyes. I’ve always loved Gilbert because all my life I’ve always been made fun of for my “weird voice.” Nobody and I mean NOBODY has a weirder/more obnoxious voice that Gilbert. That’s why I’ve admired him so much haha
Guess who was beyond stoned/wasted beyond belief? Hint: It wasn’t me!
Jeffrey Ross abruptly ended our interview because “he had to pee.” He then continued to do several other interviews.
Fresh off a huge divorce, Greg Giraldo made an appearance on the carpet. I think he was a bit out of it and depressed, so what better thing to do then make someone else feel worse than you? Poor Joan! haha
Talking to Jackie Collins, one of the legends of old Hollywood. She has a beautiful British accent. EVERYONE has talked so much trash about Joan the entire event but NOT Jackie Collins. Sometimes it’s hard for me to picture British people being mean unless they have a cockney British accent. So to help me imagine, I told Joan to say something mean. She paused for a second and responded with, “MOTHERF*CKER!!!!’ It was beautiful!
The carpet was supposed to begin at 5:30 but by the time it was 6:40. Neither Joan Rivers or Kathy Griffin were there yet. Finally a few minutes later, everyone’s favorite D-Lister took the carpet with an A-List attitude and confidence.
She stormed down the carpet, answered a question here or there with a short, snarky remark. She’s not as lovable as she appears on the show but I think that’s kind of what her persona has become. She pretends to be a humble D-list loser but when she’s finally the star of an event, she suddenly goes on a huge power trip. I think that the show kind of makes fun of this attitude with the ongoing storyline of Kathy wanting to know what she has to do as an A-lister then when she hears things like, “You have to talk one on one with her fans,” she responds with “I don’t want to do any of that sh*t!” I don’t think it’s much of a storyline if you catch my drift.
I’m not too good at spotting bad plastic surgery but that’s all anyone was talking about tonight with Kathy. I think she looks perfectly fine.
Kathy posing for the students of UCLA!
After Kathy ran down the red carpet, there was only one person left–the Queen of the Red Carpet, Joan Rivers.
Joan was very elegant. I asked her about the death of her beloved dog LuLu who we spoke about the first time we met. I got her a “Get Well LuLu cake!” which practically made her cry but remember Joan Rivers doesn’t cry. Joan thanked me again then I asked whether she was scared about what people would say tonight. Joan responded, “Scared? No way! I’m excited! Bring it on!” Then arguably the meanest woman in red carpet history went on to attack my outfit. “Ekkk!!! Who dressed you? That’s an outfit not even a mother could love!” To which I responded, “My mom was the one that dressed me!” :-( My audience for the night let out a huge laugh while screaming, “We love you Joan!” ) Joan moved on to her next interview. I turned to start packing up my stuff when I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder. In the chaos of the red carpet with dozens of cameras all around, Joan had left her other interviews and came back up to me. “I’m sorry for what I said! You look absolutely astonishing! Your mother did a great job….again!” And there you have it. Joan Rivers on the night that she was set to be attacked and ripped apart beyond belief showed what many people didn’t even realize she had…..A HEART! Always a pleasure to be with Joan!
For all the interviews and everything else that happened on the red carpet, make sure to check DailyBruin.com/DBTV soon!